Dating can be stressful at any age but those who find themselves single after 40 have special issues and special challenges. These can include: the complication of having children, hair loss and self consciousness about appearance, issues with childbearing, and even just being rusty at socializing.

Men still are usually the ones to initiate the date so dating tips for men over 40 are in order. For those women who are confidently able to ask a man out, men should be flattered and say yes. After all, she has saved you that awkward moment and you know she actually is interested.

Asking a woman out can be awkward for anyone, but if you haven’t done so for 10 or 20 or more years it can be terrifying. Understand that women are nervous too and just be honest about your desire to get to know the person. Just be yourself and ask to do something together.

Simple starts like going for coffee may be easier than elaborate first dates in exotic romantic spots and less threatening as well. Additionally, the issue of alcohol should be avoided until you have discussed your date’s position on that subject. Clubs are also a poor choice because it’s difficult to have a good talk over the loud music.

You should also be prepared for a negative reaction. You should remember, however, that she may simply be saying no to the suggested activity and not to you in general. She may not be into sports, or capable of playing golf or dancing. Try suggesting some other activity or picking different times or days. If she really does not want to see you, she will make it clear.

One of the most important things for men over 40 to remember, however, is that rejection will happen occasionally. Just because you don’t have chemistry with one person does not mean you are a poor date for everyone. Just take it in stride and move on. The right person is out there and you just need to try again.

You also need to know what not to do. A good rule of thumb is to steer clear of the subject of your ex or other women you have dated, unless you’re telling a funny story. Don’t be smarmy either and gush with empty compliments. Be pleasant and mean the compliments you give as women can tell when you are being sincere.

You should also avoid talking incessantly about your family. Mentioning your children if fine, but don’t end up showing tons of pictures or going on and on about them. If you have kids, it is fine to mention them and even show some pictures, but going on at length is not appropriate. You’ve just met this person, and this is not her one time audition for stepmother.

Another tip is to be affectionate but not blatantly sexual early on in the relationship. This would send the message that you are after only one thing. Let things come naturally and don’t send the wrong message.

Finally, be yourself. Nothing is worse than being phony and then trying to remember what nonsense you have put out there. You cannot pretend to be something or someone you are not forever and this would doom any chance of the truly lasting relationship.