Posts tagged: friends

Dating your best friend’s ex – Is it worth it?

By -, July 7, 2010 10:48 am

A romantic chemical connection between two people is sometimes as strong as gravity itself. And regardless of who or what stands to get hurt, the gravitational pull will see a connection happen even if the two connectors just happen to be your ex and your best mate.

One of the first points of concern you and your ex will come up against is friends you both have in common. Can you imagine turning up to a friends BBQ and running into the new happy couple. How awkward. In the long run, what normally happens in this scenario is one of two things – 1. The new love birds will totally snub you and continue to mix with the same group of friends that you also hang out with eventually dividing your friends into groups loyal to either you or the happy couple – 2. They can’t bear to face you and your once mutual friends and disappear never to be seen or heard from again.

Would you consider dating someone who has been with one or more of your friends? Actually it’s quite common in small townships, universities, and at work. And if you were prepared to date someone that has been intimate with some of your friends, what about if you ended up marrying this person, would you feel comfortable inviting several of your friends who may have had sexual relations with your partner in the past? It’s a tough call.

If a romance is strong and well balanced, excepting each other’s baggage is a good sign of the potential strength the relationship has and is a tremendous foundation.

Should you seek permission to date your friends ex? Not as such, but use some common sense. If your mate is still grieving over the bust up and it’s a fairly recent split, show some restraint and chances are you will still be able to maintain your friendship as well as move forward with your new love interest. It show’s great character on your part if you put your friend first until the timing is right.

If you are serious about hooking up with a friends ex and you have genuine feelings for that person, make sure that he or she has moved past that relationship and there is little chance of it re-kindling or you are set to come off second best in the long run.

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Dating Your Friends Ex Lover – Should You?

By -, July 1, 2010 4:51 pm

Dating the person that has always (until now) been associated with going out with your best friend is one of the most difficult situations you will come up against in the land of love.

Coming between two people that share a mutual attraction is no easy task. Even if they happen to be your closest friend and the person with whom you were once intimate with.

There will always be debate as to whether this is considered an act of betrayal, or simply part and parcel of two people moving on. Is dating your friends ex fair play, because let’s face it, if someone has broken up with their ex, nobody has the right to claim ownership or exclusivity over that person – they are now single, right!

By getting together with your friends ex, you really are changing the dynamics of your social life. By making such a decision you need to steel yourself for a possible backlash and should be prepared to except any consequences as a result of this decision – but think long and hard about this choice before you go there.

Perhaps the answer all lies in the timing of when your friend actually broke up with his/her ex. Allowing some time for wounds to heal would be a compromise that could see you get the girl (or guy) and still retain your friendship. Good friends are hard to come by, so consider this very carefully before you broach this tricky terrain.

Can you imagine showing up to a friends 30th birthday party and seeing your best mate of 10 years all coupled up with the person who you shared such intimate times with, the person who you talk about your deepest secrets with, the person who you quite possibly considered spending the rest of your life with. To witness such a display will see you have to make further choices as to who you socialize with, and places you may need to avoid frequenting.

Do new connections between the ex and your friend have an expiry date? Is your previous association always going to hinder the progress of this new love affair? There are many things to consider other than lust.

To try and uphold friendships by associating ex lovers into the equation is something only a rare few could ever hope to achieve. Everyone involved will need to except change whether it be good or bad.

So by approaching this tricky terrain in a tactful and upfront manner, you still have a good chance of maintaining friendships that otherwise would be in jeopardy if you dealt with such an important issue in an underhanded manner.

So yes you have every right to date your friends ex, but to do so in a deceptive manner will be seen as an obvious sign of a lack of character, but being open, honest and tactful will give you the best chance of retaining your friend as well.

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By -, May 18, 2010 6:09 pm

The various aspects of online dating services

In recent times, the use of Internet has permeated in all levels of life. People use the web for a variety of purposes. For some people it is the best and fastest way to keep in touch with friends and colleagues. The number of online buyers has also increased significantly. Various universities and technical institutes have also started their online courses. The hectic lifestyle and professional demands of people have resulted in making them dependent on the web for various needs. Nowadays, a lot of people use the Internet for making Friendship and finding a date.

The Online Matchmaking and Dating sites have become extremely popular as these provide a chance to find like-minded friends and partners. The best part about the online dating sites is that they allow complete privacy to the members. It also allows people to contact others living in various parts of the world. However, there are some online dating sites that offer services for people living in a particular region. These sites are also ideal for the shy and introvert people who feel isolated and lonely.

The Online Dating sites often send advertisements and membership discount offers to people through emails. If a person wants to see whether online dating is suitable they can opt for the services of such a site. With time the number of Internet based dating communities have increased. The online friendship making sites usually do not have stringent requirements for membership. However, they ask people to provide their genuine names and contact information.

While some people using the services of an Online Friendship site give their pictures in their profiles, others leave the place blank. When a person wants to meet someone they have befriended in an online dating site, they should be careful. This is imperative because the Internet has its flip sides as well. There have been many instances when people with fake names and contact information have posed as a different person in the dating sites. Hence, a person needs to ensure that he is getting intimate with a reliable person online. Time is crucial in assessing the online friends.

As a matter of fact, there are various types of Online Matchmaking and Romance sites. Some of the dating sites are meant for the youngsters. On the contrary, there are some Adult Dating sites too. In recent times, the dating sites for divorced people have also come up. The single parents can also find some online dating sites.

However, it is imperative for people to select an Online Dating site that offers them lots of feature and means to find matches easily. Nowadays, the dating sites offer the option of making a search based on criteria specified by the users. A number of dating sites can be found through the popular search engines. If a person is a resident of UK and looking for a reliable and free online dating site then they can count on love-contacts.co.uk which offers features like live video chat, instant messaging, personality profiling and comes for free.

 

Give Online Dating Friends the Brush Off Without a Fuss

By -, May 8, 2010 6:10 am


Have you met someone through online dating that you are now trying to get rid of? There are plenty of ways to finish up the friendship nicely. Try to remember that you should always treat others the way you would like to be treated yourself.

Obviously with online dating, much as in real life, the friendship moves through various stages. Different stages can require different ways of saying, or sending, the dreaded “It’s not you, it’s me”.

New friends are probably the easiest to brush off. If you have only been chatting a few times and haven’t gotten to the stage of exchanging personal details, there are a couple of ways to go. There are 2 extremely popular ways of giving your online dating friend the brush off at this stage. Personally I think both of them are a bit cowardly. The first is to just stop answering your friend’s emails. They usually get the hint and stop messaging you. The other is to constantly think up new excuses as to why you shouldn’t move to the next stage.

Why not just be a little honest? Why not say something like “It’s been great chatting but I don’t think there is any point in continuing”. Making up excuses can just leave the other person hanging on and continuing to message you till they get the hint. (Some people are slower than others.)

Online dating friends that you have exchanged details with or even dated a few times can be a bit more tricky. If you have met up on a date then you should tell them you are no longer keen. Ignoring phone calls, texts and emails is the coward’s way out. Give the person a call and tell them that you don’t think it is going to go anywhere. There is no need to be rude. If you have actually met up in person then dumping them by text or email is rude. You can either call them and tell them, or wait for them to contact you and then decline the date, explaining there won’t be any more dates.

Are You Being Given The Brush Off?

These statements and behaviours are virtual guarantees that they are no longer interested:

Unanswered messages and phone calls.

Your phone calls always go straight through to voice mail or message bank.

“We need to talk”.

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

“We just aren’t in the same place right now.”

“I’m too busy for a relationship right now.”

Effective and Fast Brush Off Lines:

I want to get married and have your baby as soon as possible.

I think I might be gay.

Ultimately, the most effective and the most polite way of giving your online dating friend the brush off is to use a little tact and honesty. Too much tact, though, and they may not get the hint. Try to be honest in a constructive way. The easiest rule for online dating brush offs is to keep it simple and don’t make a fuss.

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Online Dating Services Here to Stay – Singles and Friends

By -, April 29, 2010 12:11 pm

When the internet became popular amongst the general public, it was thought that it would cause isolation and possibly a reduction in social interaction. The opposite has occured though with the introduction of websites such as face book, MySpace and YouTube. This now allows singles or non singles to meet others from far away places. Groups allow those with similar interests to meet one another, often to help and advise each other. It would be unlikely that you would find many technical workers that have not looked for information or on online guide at some point.

Mid 2006 Psychology lecturers at Swinburne University initiated a phone survey to explore the demographics of online meetings and dating.
1013 Australian adults were included in the survey. 78% had used the internet, 13% had used internet services to form online social relationships.
Students and younger singles were more likely to become involved in relationships online. It was more common for them to vote green.
They were less likely to vote liberal.

 

At first thought this would make it seem that only the young, student variety were aficionados of online dating. Although on closer examination to differentiate between people who formed social relationships and who formed love partnerships, it was discovered that the love partnerships were made up of singles from all ages, gender, political persuasion even religion.
Surprisingly even numbers of single and partnered individuals said that they had indulged in online dating – suggesting that many cyber-daters were married. other studies of online daters uncovered that married members on dating sites were less likely to upload photos or provide accurate detail about their real life.

McKenna, Green and Gleason (2002) contacted original participants in research they had undertaken 2 years before to see how well online relationships lasted. They found that these romances were as likely to be ongoing as those created face to face with 79% of friendships and 71% of romantic matches continuing and going smoothly.

Whatever the statistics, it appears that online dating now belongs, and its popularity will continue to grow based on current growth. It then makes sense to educate and familiarise yourself with this easy and popular approach when considering searching for singles or friends.

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